Yet the writer who described Mexico City this way also points out that this sprawling, logic-defying city of over 20 million people (that's about 9 1/2 Portlands in an area that is just less than 4 times as big...) also manages to reach beyond mere survival; it thrives. I don't know how to explain this, because truly, the entire city is completely illogical. I mean, I could understand a city of 20,000 or maybe even 200,000 being completely disorganized, inefficient and chaotic and yet somehow managing to get itself together enough to have businesses and a bank and roads and taxis and all the little details that make a city run. But 20 million??!! I am 100% convinced that there is absolutely nowhere else in the world that a city like Mexico City could function successfully. But those Mexicans have figured it out. The city reminds me of this guy that I went to school with, who lived in my building my freshman year, directly above me. Among other endearing habits that made him a less than ideal upstairs neighbor was the way he studied (which was not often... I will give him that much). For starters, the Cranberries would be playing at a volume that could be heard within at least a three dorm range. Usually he was a few beers deep as well, and I could always hear him with 3 or 4 pens or God knows what other "instrument" keeping beat to the music and tapping them on chairs and desks and beds and anything else that was readily available. And this was his 'zone'. I absolutely didn't believe he was studying the first time I saw it, and I still do not really understand how anyone could absorb any kind of academic information (he studied Spanish this way....seriously) in these surroundings. But it was what worked for him and looking back, I'm sure he had some (or every) form of ADD so badly that he needed all the chaos and the distractions just to keep his mind somewhat occupied. So maybe Mexico City just has a really severe, incurable form of ADD. All I know is that every time I am here I marvel a little bit at all the little crazy, every day things going on around me. Here are some examples:
*Propane (for houses... you buy your own tanks instead of getting billed) is sold on Thursday and Saturday mornings at 8am. A man walks through the street and buzzes every apartment yelling "BEEELLLLLAAAHHHRRRR... gaasssssssss..... BEEELLLLLAAAARRRR..... gaaassssss" over and over and over loud enough that it has woken me up every week. This is a perfectly normal occasion and when you are running low on gas for the apartment, you call down to him (through the apt buzzer) and go down and pay him for a new tank of gas. At which point he continues his yelling as he proceeds down the street.
*Traffic salesmen are the most amazing thing I've ever seen. At stop lights, men, women and yes children of all ages walk through the lanes selling EVERYTHING. And I really mean everything. For example, yesterday the following things were being offered to us while we were in our car: Bart Simpson dolls, cell phone chargers, cell phone cases, fresh fruit, water, newspapers, a dozen roses, tray tables (for breakfast in bed), lollipops and cheese made by the Mexican equivalent of Mennonites. Oh also, while you are waiting at these stop lights, kids walk through with water bottles filled with soapy water and will squirt your wind shield and clean it (like at a gas station) for change unless you say emphatically tell them no.
*Everyone here honks. At everything. Pedestrians, other drivers, the police, dogs, cats, traffic salesmen, the rain, everything. I think it is the Mexican version of comparing penis sizes. Except women participate too.
*I have been lectured about my frivolous use of electricity here. And I don't mean that I leave lights on or anything. I mean that I have been so neglectful as to leave the fridge plugged in while I use the espresso machine. Or heaven forbid that I forgot the washing machine was running while I was foaming milk. Yes, this is how horribly shitty the circuits in the apartment buildings are. One appliance at a time or lights out. Speaking of lights out (and as an Oregonian this especially drives me nuts), this city is completely incapable of handling rain. Power outages are common, businesses close, parking lots flood (7 feet of water-- seriously, this happened 3 days ago), streets become rivers, and people absolutely cannot drive in the stuff. We're talking about a thunderstorms here. They last an hour, maybe, and are done. Like the type of rain that lasts for 48 hours in Oregon. But I suppose Oregonians don't know what to do when the weather gets above 90℉. I actually received an email from my mother complaining about the inadequacy of the air conditioning in my car since the temperature had finally risen about 70 degrees....
*Now, I don't want to sound racist or anything, but I swear that for every one task or job, there are about 3 or 4 Mexicans employed to do it. In parking lots, it is completely common to see at least five people on your way to a parking spot that are all carrying whistles and ready to help you park. They are called viene vienes (come come) and from what I am told, they are not only completely necessary as Mexicans apparently struggle with the whole parking thing (these are regular spots, not even parallel), but they are often not even employed by the company that owns the lot. Most times they just show up there and what they make is what you tip them, and if they help you, you have to tip them or they will scratch your car. Wow.
My friend Hallie, who has lived here for three years now, tells me that the novelty of these oddities has worn off to the point that they are essentially normal. I imagine that three years would do that, but for me these will always be the wonderful little things that make Mexico so fabulously Mexican.
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